so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
