We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
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