i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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