sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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