you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Randomize
