HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
