Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
