So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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