I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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