He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
