i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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