I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
