ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
