Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
