Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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