i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
