Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
