I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
