I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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