You just made me feel so damn special
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
