Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
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