her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
