I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
