the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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