People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
zippers are such a cool invention
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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