I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
