I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
