hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
