You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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