I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
