If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
