who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
