He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
