mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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