I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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