We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
