Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
