yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
