and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Houston, we have a squirter
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
