We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
