i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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