When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
