the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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