The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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