I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
