when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
