Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
