"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
