She's JV to your varsity
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
