Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
