one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
