"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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